I’m It

Neva has tagged me to answer the question of why I blog. Given that it has taken me four days to post my response, that it has been more than a month since I last posted something, and that I’ve only posted three actual items so far this year, I think the truest answer is that I don’t. But I did once, quite a lot in fact. Like Neva, I started at Salon, and like her, I hated the software and loved the community. I went on to try other software, but still tried to stay connected to the Salon community. And then I finally gave up. Somewhere along the line, I started posting photographs on Flickr, and have kept at that on and off, mostly because it doesn’t require writing.

That’s the what, but why did I start? And why did I stop? I started on a whim, just like almost every Weblogger before me, and every Weblogger since. My friend Eric had a Weblog, and when Salon made it so easy (or so it seemed) to get started, I decided I wanted one too. I fancied myself a geek, and it seemed to be what all of the other geeks were doing. I quickly became addicted. I could be as pretentious, opinionated, or precious as I wanted to be, and someone would follow along. But then the writing just became too much: It was an escape from a pretty serious bout of depression; a way to create a persona that no one would actually meet; a means to practice talking about myself and my emotions to others; and finally, a chore and a responsibility. This isn’t something that was foisted on me–it’s just the natural arc of my interests, at least so far. And so I stopped writing, telling myself that I was seeking to stay more connected to the present moment and its circumstances, but I don’t think I’ve actually accomplished that. I have managed to watch a helluva lot of English soccer though.

More recently, I’ve started this Weblog, and I’ve written in it occasionally. I started mostly because I’d heard a lot about WordPress and I wanted to try it out. This was also when I stopped doing much software development at work, so it was a chance to still feel like a geek. Not long after that, my brother-in-law discovered MOG, so I started writing sporadically there as well (Neva signed up, but hasn’t posted anything). But even with all of these outlets, I don’t post much. I think about it a lot, but having gone through the process of thinking, I don’t have much motivation to actually go through the pain of writing. And as long as others keep posting and commenting, I can read their thoughts and still feel connected, without having to write myself. I apologize to anyone and everyone I’ve victimized with my parasitic behavior.