The Power of the Powder

Do not doubt the power of Crazy Sam’s Good Time Magic Powder^® (though there may be reason to doubt Sam’s messianic tendencies–more on that below). After using the powder every day for a little over a week, and despite a catastrophic breaching on Monday morning of the cotton and petroleum jelly levee I use to protect my ear from moisture in the shower, my ear looked much better today than it did last Monday. The tissue hasn’t really made much progress in eclipsing the exposed bone since last week, but it looks “much calmer” in the doctor’s words. I don’t know what this means in practical terms anymore, but where he was a bit discouraged last week, he was very upbeat this week. I asked why, given little or no progress in the tissue growth, I should be encouraged by this, and he said that there likely wouldn’t be much tissue growth in a week, but that the area looks far more conducive to tissue growth with the powder. So I’ll keep using the powder every other day, and we’ll check back in three weeks.

I asked the doctor if I’d told him the story of Sam the Pharmacist and his profound faith in this powder and his wild-eyed (I’m assuming–I only spoke to him on the phone) messianism. He said I hadn’t, and that he was surprised to hear that, since Sam’s not the first pharmacist to make this powder, though there aren’t many who do. Apparently it’s a fairly old treatment, and it’s expensive and difficult for patients to properly administer (making me special, I suppose). In fact, he had convinced a pharmacist in New York to make the powder, but the pharmacist stopped after a while due to a lack of interest. I’m a true believer in what is apparently a small church or, perhaps more accurately, cult.

The best health-related news of the week is that it finally dawned on me that this odd levee system for my ear could also protect it from moisture while I exercise, as long as the exercise isn’t too strenuous (which, after a layoff of months, it won’t be). I started working out in the morning before work yesterday, and I already feel much better, just like Rich said I would. I feel calmer, I sleep better, and my back, which was already somewhat better, feels both stronger and looser. I might just get through this saga, which may yet challenge the longevity of The Archers, without losing my mind.